Typed something that's always recurring around my head but deleted them off.
Coz I dunno how to relate in words.
I guess not all things can be express in words.
Needn't be too.

But it was about searching for a special friend.
Someone that is very much like you.
Needless to say is an opposite gender.(to make it more special)
Yet ... It's very different and difficult for me to say.

You do not have to know him(for my case) for the longest time.
You do not even have to come out to meet each other all the time.
Yet somehow,somewhere both of you are connected in an unpainted link.

However there will be no romantical outcome b/w both of you.But that special friend is always someone you can rely on,maybe even better than your spouse.
It's a lil like Harry and Sally but I have no idea if both of them ended up together.

Maybe I am just talking about a guardian angel.
Do you believe you have one?

I remember when I was like p5 or 6,I was actually already very lonely at heart.
And I developed this "imaginary guardian angel" and even wrote letters to him when I'm feeling the blues and greys.HE was my angel,my lover as well.A protecting prince.
Maybe every gal grow up having those kinda fantasy thoughts.
But this angel of mine wont and cant be with me physically.
We wont live happily ever after.
Coz he is an angel,just my guardian angel.



I believed I still have those letters but I have no idea where would they be now.

Sometime not too long ago.Maybe a few recent months back,I had a weird dream.
I dreamt that I were young and (childish) were with my friends(I cant recall which friends).
Since young there is this "Guardian angel" always looking after me,always staying around me.

The 'me' in my dream of coz dont see him but somewhat I can felt his prescene.

That angel in my dream is a very good looking tall bloke.(no wings attached)
But he looked too familiar that I am scared to acknowledge who he really looks like when I woke up.
The odd thing is I never get to see his face afterall.

Anyway back to that dream.
Somehow when I am more grown up,I am able to see him already.But when I am see him,he is leaving me.
I have no idea why he wanted or need to leave me.
In the shopping mall,I was there crying very badly with one or two of my friends.
Suddenly I saw him,but he already cant see me for some reasons.
He was walking away.
I sat on the floor cying very badly and shouted to him.
No..actually I didn't shout.
I was more like...singing in those kinda Soprano's style...keep on singing and calling and crying.
"My angel....~~~~~~"
(Dont imagine that scene,I know it would sent a chill down your spine)
But he didnt turned back to look at me,instead faded into some walls.
I woke up feeling very sad,thinking why must my angel leave me,didnt he want me anymore?

And with this,it made me think further back on two other dreams.

The first one was me,all dressed up in a pink princess gown.
There is this guy I was happily dancing with.
He was my prince.
But I cant see his face.But we were happily dancing in the hall,laughing.
But again,he's gone suddenly.
I went on looking for him but the dream ended and I lost him.

The second one is weird.
I dreamt that I was ready to get out but once I opened the door,I saw a very weird guy.
His skin is snow white,so is his hair.
I think other than his eyes,everything about him is white.
Yet he doesnt daunted me.
He couldnt speak and didnt speak.
I asked him how can I help him?
But he just looked at me in a very sad manner.There is something in his eyes that seem wanting to tell me something but he couldnt speak.
And suddenly he's gone.

Talk about weird dreams.
But these are the ones that set me really ...I dunno how to say.

But I still wish...
Tat my guardian angel(if there is one) wont leave me.
Dont,please.

I know this whole blog sounds childish.
But gimme a break.

You were once young too.
Me too.